Part One: Trolls in the Village
I think I’m like many Manzanita residents. I don’t use Facebook. In fact, I don’t have an account. I used to when I first started publishing, but I noticed that too many people turn into mean middle schoolers once they sit down to read and respond to a post. Even a post about something seemingly innocuous, like having an indoor or outdoor cat. Oy.
You might find it ironic, if you’re reading this post on the North County Facebook page. That’s because I allow other people to post and publish what I write in other places. I do my best in everything I write to only say the facts, as I know them and to keep my tone friendly and open because the world has too much anger, too much rash, thoughtless and explosive speech. Too much mean.
What I’ve found to be true on Facebook community groups is that even very nice people who volunteer in the community can turn into trolls once they start responding to posts by people they don’t agree with. Far from being a passionate and candid opinion, these posts turn vicious pretty quick. Sometimes it’s intentional meanness meant to shut someone down, and sometimes it’s just not getting how the tone and style of their writing comes across to readers. Sometimes it’s that they open the wine and close their minds when they start writing. Don’t be that guy or gal.
So I post—or my husband posts—for me on the BBQ. But just because I don’t have an account, doesn’t mean I don’t know who’s saying what on Facebook. In an effort to let me know how people are responding to things I write, I get screenshots from people who do use Facebook. I save them to refer back to but I don’t use anyone’s name or their words. They’re simply a reference.
The times I’ve gotten something wrong, I’ve written something to clarify or to retract the information.
My email address is included in my posts on BBQ and it’s not hard to get in touch with me. People contact me when they do and don’t agree with me. We have conversations. We meet sometimes. That’s how I like to roll—conversations, not debates. A debate is a fight you’ll never win. It starts with the idea that you alone are right about something and the other person is wrong. Right away, you go to defend your position and BOOM! you are in a war. Most things are not so clear-cut.
I read somewhere that when Obama was president there was someone he nominated to a position that he fundamentally disagreed with. When asked why he would choose that person Obama said something like, “We can agree to disagree without being disagreeable.” I love that quote and I’ve thought of it often the last few months.
I’ve been discouraged by the tone and content of the rhetoric that I’ve seen on Facebook around our local election this fall, as well as during the 2020 election. It’s clear to me that there are a handful of trolls in the village. They are the first to shut down conversations with people who don’t share their views, they belittle and condescend, they spread hate and division, they’re mean to people with whom they disagree, and they’re not always spreading the facts because they believe in the rightness of their position without checking sources. They discourage new ideas, fresh perspectives and new voices when they use social media platforms to bully others.
In the first instance, someone wrote an untrue and libelous post on BBQ about, Deb Simmons, our Mayor to be. I thought Simmons handled it perfectly. She took her time to respond with facts and some humor. She elevated the conversation from a small mind that must’ve thought she was fair game to a call for civility. She asked for contact. She was open.
Never mess with an elementary school teacher.
I’ve used her name here because she’s a candidate for public office.
It’s especially troubling to me that the trolls in the village are targeting a candidate for office. How is that supposed to encourage citizen engagement in the future? How does that fix the divisions in our community—many of them caused by this mean spirited behavior on-line?
All three candidates say they want to listen to the community and bring people together but if the candidates, and their trollish supporters, can’t be respectful to each other and the people with whom they disagree, it doesn’t bode well for our future.
It’s one thing to disagree it’s another deal to be disagreeable.
Kim Rosenberg loretta.kim.rosenberg@gmail.com