Fictitious report

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Fictitious television report:

Les Newsman: Good evening, North Coast. This is Les Newsman, North Coast News, coming to you live from the quiet beach town of Manzanita, Oregon. You may know Manzanita as the picturesque setting of the beloved fictional soap opera, “The Tides of Manzanita.” But today, the drama is all too real.

What brings North Coast News to this quaint village by the sea is a wave of controversy crashing against the city government. Reports have surfaced that the council has been raiding the town’s water fund by $675,000 over four years, using it at their discretion for the general fund. You might be thinking, “Les, what’s the big deal?” Well, according to concerned citizens, draining the water fund has an associated opportunity cost. The money won’t be available when it’s time for needed infrastructure repairs or improvements whether large or small.

I had the chance to speak with a local resident, Aenita Aquas. Let’s hear what she had to say.

Aenita Aquas: I’m worried sick, Les. One day, I’m going turn on the spigot, and nothing will come out because the city council took the funds for who knows what and didn’t repair the water pipes. They always want more, more, more. They just raised water rates 44 per cent and reduced basic water amounts. Now they want to use accounting tricks to charge monthly instead of quarterly. Who gets hurt the most? Those of us on fixed incomes, low-income families with children and service workers. Meanwhile council members will just make happy talk about it. Everything is costing more, and we’re flat broke. The rents will be raised by these increased utility costs to the landlords. The city has plenty of money. They need to cut back just like I do when there’s more month than bank account.

Les Newsman: Aenita, like many others in Manzanita, is concerned about the future. She fears that soon the council will come knocking, demanding more taxes to replenish the water fund they siphoned. As she put it, “The city has plenty of money. They need to cut back on expenses just like normal people do.”

Let’s talk to another citizen, Alf Fluent. Alf, are you concerned about water fund transfers and charges?

Alf Fluent: I’m retired and I’ve saved my whole life to have a retirement. Even I notice that costs for food and gas have gone way up. The real costs for water won’t kick in until summer lawn watering time. Last summer trees and shrubs would have died without regular water. People will cut back on watering when it gets hot from these high water costs. Get ready for burnt out lawns and fried shrubs. Same for my vegetable garden. It will wither or my costs go up.

Les Newsman: Many are not calling this highway robbery, but highwater robbery. North Coast News reached out to city employees for a comment, and while they spoke off the record in fear of retribution by the city over their first amendment rights, their response was less than reassuring.

Unidentified city employee(masked): “It’s all just funding to us. We don’t care where the taxes or fees come from. It just increases the chance for a pay increase. Heck, we don’t even live here because we can’t afford the housing, so we are not really affected by water fees or taxes. And once it’s passed, it’s water under the bridge.”

Les Newsman: There you have it, folks. The once-idyllic beach town with a village atmosphere now finds its quaint history circling the drain, thanks to what some are calling an out-of-control city government. This is Les Newsman, reporting from Manzanita, Oregon. Back to you in the studio.